Showing posts with label George Carlin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label George Carlin. Show all posts

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

"The planet is fine, the people are fucked"

I felt a little sad today (post-holiday blues no doubt) but a healthy dose of my all-time favourite comedian George Carlin soon had me giggling again :)
Here's a selection of my fave George Carlin quotes....

"Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town."
"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!"
"If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
"If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor."
"I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions."
"I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."
"Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here."
"The future will soon be a thing of the past."
"The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music."
"Atheism is a non-prophet organization."
"The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck."
"You can prick your finger but don't finger your prick"
"What was the best thing before sliced bread?"
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."
"As far as I’m concerned, humans have not come up with a belief that’s worth believing."
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."

Sadly George is no longer with us but thankfully his masterful comedy still is.
Lot's of love,